Introducing Give Me Toilet Paper!
Give Me Toilet Paper! is a game built around a simple universal concept: At some point in our lives, we’ll forget to check the toilet paper roll before we sit down. That’s exactly what happened to these digital helpless businessmen, trapped behind an unfeeling bathroom stall. Only you can save them—by sticking a Joy-Con into a roll of toilet paper and literally rolling it through buzz saws and lasers. Here’s how it works. You stick one of your Switch controllers into a roll of toilet paper (not included in the eShop game), and then you stuff some tissue into the roll to prevent it from sliding out. Afterwards, you can use a board to roll the controller back and forth. The Joy-Con’s motion sensors will allow you to use physical movement as your primary input.
The game itself consists of rolling the toilet paper through platforming hazards before finally reaching the poor dude who just wanted to take a shit. One of these hazards are other toilet paper rolls with spikes sticking out of them, which I find incredibly funny. But wait, it gets funnier. According to the eShop description, the toilet paper is sentient. And it’s rolling towards the man so that he can use it to wipe his ass. What a noble act of self-sacrifice. I have so many questions, and I’m not going to think too hard about any of them. What really matters is that he might be able to run to his next meeting in time.
The Switch has had motion sensors since it originally launched in 2017, but most games outside of first party ones don’t really use them. It’s cool to see GMTP revive Wii-like controls on a modern console, but with a novel premise. This could have just been a normal platformer, but the developer took it to incredible shitposting heights.